When I was 10, eBay was new, so I bought 400 random comics for about $100. I read almost none of them. But now, I will read them all! Welcome to the Incidental Issues--Batman: Zero Hour tie-ins edition!
Zero Hour! Crisis in Time was marketed as sequel to Crisis on Infinite Earths--but really, it’s exactly the same story as Infinite Earths except where the former was about unifying many universes into just one universe, Zero Hour unifies a few timelines into one. The main gimmick was Hal Jordan becomes Parallax (seen above) and decides to do exactly what the Anti-Monitor decided to do in CoIE. As Parallax destroys time, the universe collapses; to convey this, books were printed with blank, white pages at the end (...so, a lame waste of paper). Dumb idea, but I read the tie-ins! So these have the potential to be really bad, or just awesomely weird (as two ended up being). HOWEVER, the art allows for a neat mash-up of styles from era of comic books,
Batman #511
Released: September 1994, by DC Comics
Original price: $1.50
IMHO: 2/5
Almost nothing happens in 22 pages. Joker gets beat up by (surprise!) Batgirl in an alley--and it’s really Barbra Gordan! “But that doesn’t make sense,” Tim Drake whines, “Barbra Gordan was shot and paralyzed years ago--by the Joker!” Duh. Then, Joker throws a flash-grenade, steals a helicopter, and chuckles. Batman realizes that New Batgirl is from another universe, or timeline, or past--since he’s readily familiar with scenarios like, as it’s the exact same plot to CoIE. In the bizarro timeline, Joker kills Jim Gordon and never shoots Barbra but that doesn’t matter at all. The day is saved when Batman knocks Joker from his helicopter and New Batgirl disappears into thin air. The cover promises a confrontation between Oracle and Batgirl, but this never happens. Plus, all the drawings in this book STINK!
Shadow of the Bat #31
Released:
Original Price: $1.95
IMHO: 4/5
This comic though, was alright! Great retro cover promising what looks to be 1940s Alfred. Inside, that’s exactly what we get! Chubby Alfred getting into hyjinx. Alfred wishes he had become a detective but never learned how. So, Bruce gives him a book about it while he tries to figure out why Crisis on Infinite Earths is happening a second time. Distracted with other things, Batman tells Chubby Alfred to stay in the cave. He, thankfully, disobeys and finds Batman & Robin right as crooks are about to push them from the roof! Chubby Alfred tries to make an attack, but just ends up falling on the crooks, which is both effective and funny as Chubby Alfred is chubby. Then, 1940s Chubby Alfred accomplishes his dream and disappears into thin air just like New Batgirl! Batman knows only one person can stop this: Superman! And good news, he’s right!
Superman: The Man of Steel #37
Released: September 1994, by DC Comics
Original Price: $1.50
IMHO: 5/5
This one was actually really cool. It’s set in the era of Mullet Superman! (i.e. 90s). First, Batman and Superman meet and shake hands. This Batman is drawn really muscley, cowly, and overall like George Clooney. Thankfully, we don’t have to spend much time with Clooney Batman, as Frank Miller Batman suddenly appears!
He beats the tar out of chumps in an alley, until he's intercepted by Batman and Superman. They all team up lookin' for clues until 1940's Batman appears! The original detective of the night!
They decide to team up at the strange, "Children of the Night" concert going down that night (the same one Clark Kent is supposed to cover for the Daily Planet). At the rock concert, gangsters in a tank show up to kill our heroes (the gangsters look straight out of Miller's Dark Knight Returns). The lead singer of "Children..." turns into a Man-Bat (woman-bat?) to suspiciously escape--but is quickly caught by, none other than trippy 1960s Batman!
Unfortunately, everybody quickly disappears, but Metron comes to leave an ominous warning. The last page of the book is Jor-El and Lara, Superman's parents, expecting their son to abandon Earth and return to Krypton!
This issue was totally wild. It would have fit in well alongside the ideas in Grant Morrison's Batman epic (maybe an RIP sensory deprivation hallucination!). Really, it visually demonstrates the fractured identity of a superhero, and how constant reframing of the symbol--to keep it relevant, current, up to changing audience expectation--reinforces the power of the symbol itself. Keep your eyes peeled at garage sales and bargain bins for this one!
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